That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
