dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
don't judge my taste in strippers
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
