You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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