like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
where does the pee come out of this thing
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
