I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
