4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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