Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Randomize
