have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
You are a genius and a whore.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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