I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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