Im at strip club and am horny
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
