awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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