i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
