Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
