what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
