i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
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