I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
one might say we're banned from that church
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
