i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
