so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
are you so shy because you have an std?
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
