i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
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