You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
