you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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