Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
