Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize