i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize