white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I checked into jail on foursquare
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
