I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
