i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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