dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize