sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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