she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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