I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
you made out with another girl for some wings
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
