Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
