My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
