He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
