All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
