Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
