If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
