i barfeds in our rink
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize