Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
