How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
