i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
