I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
