the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Randomize
