can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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