i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
