why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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