literally had 100 drinks last night.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
