why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
