hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Randomize
