So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
