On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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