nut hugger
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
