You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
