omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
