can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
