So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
