im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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