That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
