There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
