That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
