You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
i out mim tonsoeep
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